Lyrical Lies

So, today I've descovered a new band that I am very much into. Well, I've known of this band for a long time now but I just started really listening to their songs. What band you ask? Rise Against. The song I really became attached to was Swing Life Away. I can relate to it so it means alot to me. OHH and another thing I wanted to mention is if you are into like technoish music or anything like that check out Nickasaur cause he pretty much pwns at life.

Anyways, things have been getting a whole lot better for me. I've made time to fit in my friends and deal with all the useless school shit I have to do.

A book that I have been reading lately is called Looking For Alaska by John Green and it's pretty damn amazing so far but so sad! haha so if your not into sad things I wouldn't read it.

hmmmmm well I'm gonna vent about something right now that I really need to get off of my chest. A friend who is very very very close to me, so close I could almost call her my sister, was hurt really badly today. Not a physical pain but a deep emotional pain. Some ass holes at school were making fun of her for her for pointless teenage stuff and honestly, I wanted to go punch them all in the faces. I love this girl so much and she has such a light spirit and stuff and when she's made fun of for pointless shit like that, I kinda want to just teach those damn kids a lesson. It really pisses me off because people judge before getting to know you all the time. Many people hate me for no reason at all. I'm not a bitch to many people, especially if I don't have a reason to be. It kinda reminds me of the phrase 'haters make me famous'. The haters have no reason to hate you, but they do anyway. It's so messed up. Alright, now I'm rambling and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore so I'll move on.

Uhh Hannah Montana just came on the T.V and I think I might throw a rock at her head. Haha seriously if there's one thing that does piss me off in this world it's Miley Cyrus.

I like changing subjects a billion times if you couldn't tell already! So, yeah I have a test in gym tomarrow. It's so freaking dumb. 30 years from now, I'm never going to remember why push ups help your upper body endurance. Same goes to math, when am I ever going to need to know how to graph an x and y intercept? Haha it gets me so angry! Like do you realize that school doesn't teach us any real necessities in life? Like stuff that were going to use in the real world? I mean sure they teach us our abc's and how to count to 10 but do they teach us stuff that will become a major importance in our lives? No, not really. They should be teaching us about relationships, heartache, coping with real ass problems. Idk just stuff like that I guess.

Telephone, a game you can't play with your butt. ahahaha sorry that comercial just came on and I thought I would share that amazing fact with you. I also miss that bow chica wow wow comercial! and the berries and cream elf thing! Lol those were kickk ass comercials.

Uhhhhh I don't really know what else to say becausee not much stuff has gone down this week but when something big comes up ill letch yall know.....

aiight peaceeee out cub scout
that was lame whatevahh.

sometimes i just want to runaway from everything....

I don't know how to start this, or what to say because I can't really express how I feel with words but I'll try my best.

Lately, I've been second guessing myself alot. I can't seem to tell the difference between reality and acting anymore. I just found out that many of my friends were acting and to my surprise, many are still very real to me. But, sometimes I feel like I'm just putting on a freaking show for everyone. I don't think I really know who I am anymore because I've grown so used to pretending for everyone. Life can be shitty to me sometimes but I've learned to just tough it out. You probably don't want to hear me ranting about this useless crap so I'll move on.

If you are my age, 14, or around this age you will understand what I'm about to say next. Sometimes, parents SUCK. I love the fact that my mom has ALL week to bother me about cleaning my room and doing pointless chores but when my friends are over for one night, she feels the need to make me do everything! I hardly ever get time with my friends anymore because of school and what not and one day I actually get to spend with them, my mom is nagging me the whole time. I hate it. Then, what I hate the most is when my mom goes and tells on me to my dad and they freaking gang up on me. Now, I wouldn't really mind this if I wasn't afraid of my dad but the truth is, is he is terrifying. He's huge and I know that he could hurt me really bad if he wanted to. They both have anger issues and get on my case for every little thing I do. I feel like I can't do anything right anymore so why bother even trying? Sometimes I would give anything to runaway but that would not be a smart choice for me because 1. I wouldn't have anywhere to go 2. I think I'm too scared to even attempt running away 3. they would find me without a doubt. Ugh whatever. Honestly, I can't wait till the day I turn freaking 18 and leave this place.

On a better note, it snowed today! K, im lying, that's deffinately not a better note but I'm trying to not be so pessimistic. I honestly hate snow haha it's just too cold and wet. Autumn is deffinately my favorite month and I love it.

So, another thing today is that I finally made peace with my cousin. If you're wondering what the fight was about, it was just that she accused me of doing something I didn't do and I got deffensive which turned me into a bitch. I didn't mean to get like that but she can get on my last nerve sometimes. I need to keep my cousin close with me though because I feel like she's the only person I have left to trust in this world.

Well, that's enough of my ranting to say eventhough I feel like I could write about 5 more pages of shit but it would probably bore you haha. So, maybe life will start looking up for me cause it can't stay shitty forever, right? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right....I guess I'll find out sooner or later....